Breaking news: Saddam will relocate to France.
Apr 4, 2003 17:41:19 GMT -5
Post by Cranky on Apr 4, 2003 17:41:19 GMT -5
Special report.
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politicalhumor.about.com/gi/dynamic/offsite.htm?site=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.borowitzreport.com%2Farchive_rpt.asp%3Frec%3D540
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SADDAM: I WOULD ACCEPT EXILE IN FRANCE
‘Not the Diplomatic Solution I Meant,’ Says Chirac
Moments after U.S. President George W. Bush used a nationally televised address to demand that Saddam Hussein go into exile, the Iraqi strongman surprised his country and the world by saying that he would in fact accept exile: in France.
“After careful consideration, I have decided that it would make everyone’s life a lot easier if I just moved to a chateau outside of Paris,” Saddam said, sporting a French-style beret and smoking what appeared to be a Gitane cigarette. “I’m packing my bags tonight. Au revoir, l’Iraque!”<br>
President Bush, told of Saddam’s relocation plans moments after the Iraqi President went off the air, expressed amazement that his ultimatum had been accepted so quickly.
“What??! He wasn’t supposed to – I mean, wow, that’s great news,” Mr. Bush said.
But in France, Saddam’s decision to relocate to the Parisian suburbs seemed to raise more questions than it answered, as French President Jacques Chirac said he was “incensed” that the Iraqi madman had unilaterally decided to move himself and as many as twenty thousand Saddam Hussein look-alikes to the French capital.
“When I said I wanted a diplomatic solution, this was not the diplomatic solution I meant,” Mr. Chirac said. “I meant a diplomatic solution that didn’t require me to do anything.”<br>
At U.S. CENTCOM headquarters in Qatar, General Tommy Franks said that Saddam’s relocation to France would require only modest changes in the U.S. war plan.
“Fortunately, our long-range stealth bombers can reach France without refueling,” General Franks said.
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politicalhumor.about.com/gi/dynamic/offsite.htm?site=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.borowitzreport.com%2Farchive_rpt.asp%3Frec%3D540
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
SADDAM: I WOULD ACCEPT EXILE IN FRANCE
‘Not the Diplomatic Solution I Meant,’ Says Chirac
Moments after U.S. President George W. Bush used a nationally televised address to demand that Saddam Hussein go into exile, the Iraqi strongman surprised his country and the world by saying that he would in fact accept exile: in France.
“After careful consideration, I have decided that it would make everyone’s life a lot easier if I just moved to a chateau outside of Paris,” Saddam said, sporting a French-style beret and smoking what appeared to be a Gitane cigarette. “I’m packing my bags tonight. Au revoir, l’Iraque!”<br>
President Bush, told of Saddam’s relocation plans moments after the Iraqi President went off the air, expressed amazement that his ultimatum had been accepted so quickly.
“What??! He wasn’t supposed to – I mean, wow, that’s great news,” Mr. Bush said.
But in France, Saddam’s decision to relocate to the Parisian suburbs seemed to raise more questions than it answered, as French President Jacques Chirac said he was “incensed” that the Iraqi madman had unilaterally decided to move himself and as many as twenty thousand Saddam Hussein look-alikes to the French capital.
“When I said I wanted a diplomatic solution, this was not the diplomatic solution I meant,” Mr. Chirac said. “I meant a diplomatic solution that didn’t require me to do anything.”<br>
At U.S. CENTCOM headquarters in Qatar, General Tommy Franks said that Saddam’s relocation to France would require only modest changes in the U.S. war plan.
“Fortunately, our long-range stealth bombers can reach France without refueling,” General Franks said.
