Steve Martin's Christmas Wish List

[franko]

If I had one wish that I could wish this holiday season, it would be that all the children to join hands and sing together in the spirit of harmony and peace.

If I had two wishes I could make this holiday season, the first would be for all the children of the world to join hands and sing in the spirit of harmony and peace. And the second would be for 30 million dollars a month to be given to me, tax-free in a Swiss bank account.

You know, if I had three wishes I could make this holiday season, the first, of course, would be for all the children of the world to get together and sing, the second would be for the 30 million dollars every month to me, and the third would be for encompassing power over every living being in the entire universe.

And if I had four wishes that I could make this holiday season, the first would be the crap about the kids definitely, the second would be for the 30 million, the third would be for all the power, and the fourth would be to set aside one month each year to have an extended 31-day orgasm, to be brought out slowly by Rosanna Arquette and that model Paulina-somebody, I can't think of her name. Of course my lovely wife can come too and she's behind me one hundred percent here, I guarantee it.

Wait a minute, maybe the sex thing should be the first wish, so if I made that the first wish, because it could all go boom tomorrow, then what do you got, y'know? No, no, the kids, the kids singing would be great, that would be nice. But wait a minute, who am I kidding? They're not going to be able to get all those kids together. I mean, the logistics of the thing is impossible, more trouble than it's worth! So -- we reorganize!

Here we go. First, the sex thing. We go with that. Second, the money. No, we got with the power second, then the money. And then the kids. Oh wait, oh jeez, I forgot about revenge against my enemies! Okay, I need revenge against all my enemies, they should die like pigs in hell! That would be my fourth wish. And, of course, my fifth wish would be for all the children of the world to join hands and sing together in the spirit of harmony and peace. Thank you everybody and Merry Christmas.

[Cranky]

LOL! Thanks Franko!

Martin, Williams and the like really make my day, on the other hand, I can't stand shock shlockers and comedians who use m'fer for every second word. In fact, I NEVER even use f*** myself, nope, well at least not normally. Okay, I mean what's normal? Let's say I never use THAT word in polite conversation. Well, okay what's polite? Funerals? So there, I NEVER use the word "f***" in funerals............and I can prove it.

[franko]

Then you will definitely not like A Charlie Brown Kwanzaa


Actually, I turned it off before it hit a minute -- it is pretty vile (imo: too much for my ears).

[Cranky]

franko said:

Then you will definitely not like A Charlie Brown Kwanzaa


Actually, I turned it off before it hit a minute -- it is pretty vile (imo: too much for my ears).

Did you catch the "George Bush Drunk?" one? Hilarious. And no, the Charlie Brown one was just JUNK. The problem with that type of humour is that it's only shocking the first few times then it becomes boring BORING as hell.

I think that we are on the cusp of a video crap explosion. With movie cameras not more then the cost of a fill-up, everyone and anyone can load crap into the net.

[jkr]

franko said:

Of course my lovely wife can come too and she's behind me one hundred percent here, I guarantee it.

There's a couple of different ways to read that.