The Chicken

[cigarviper]

Why did the chicken cross the road? We asked our modern luminaries that very question and got a variety of answers....

BARACK OBAMA:
The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The
chicken wanted CHANGE!


JOHN MC CAIN:
My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need
To engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other
side of the road.


HILLARY CLINTON:
When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross
the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure -- right
from Day One! -- that every chicken in this country gets the chance it
deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.......


DR. PHIL:
The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must
first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes
after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to
do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his
'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems.


OPRAH:
Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he
wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn
from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to
give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and
not live his life like the rest of the chickens.


GEORGE W. BUSH:
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to
know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is
either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.


COLIN POWELL:
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image
of the chicken crossing the road...


ANDERSON COOPER - CNN:
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been
allowed to have access to the other side of the road.


JOHN KERRY:
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it!
It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's
intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.


NANCY GRACE:
That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his
eyes and the way he walks.


PAT BUCHANAN:
To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.


MARTHA STEWART:
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a
standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price
dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider
information.


DR SEUSS:
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the
chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.


ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die in the rain. Alone.


JERRY FALWELL:
Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth?'
That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that chicken
is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we
boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal
media white washes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side.
That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as
simple as that.


GRANDPA:
In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told
us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.


BARBARA WALTERS:
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the
chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it
experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its
life long dream of crossing the road.


ARISTOTLE:
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.


JOHN LENNON:
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.


BILL GATES:
I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but
will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check
book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of the Chicken. This new
platform is much more stable and will never crash...#@&&^(C% .........
gotta reboot.


ALBERT EINSTEIN:
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the
chicken?


BILL CLINTON:
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of
"crossing the road"?


AL GORE:
I invented the chicken!


COLONEL SANDERS:
Did I miss one?


DICK CHENEY:
Where's my gun?


AL SHARPTON:
Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.


JEREMIAH WRITE:
The chicken was delivering drugs to the other side of the road, where
black chickens live. I say, God damn America for letting that chicken
cross the road!


MAHMOUD AHMADINEJAD:
In Iran, chickens don't cross roads, like they do in America. All our
chickens live on the same side of the road.


MICHAEL MOORE:
Chicken burger, anyone?

[Skilly]

Too funny!! ;D

[clear observer]

"Which come first, the chicken or the aig?
Which come first, the chicken or the aig?
How could somethin' so fat and burly
Come from somethin' so smooth and pearly?
Which come first, the chicken or the aig?

Which come first, the feather or the shell?
Which come first, the feather or the shell?
When you see one egg or t'other,
Do you ever think about its mother?
Which come first, the feather or the shell?

Now eggs are all so purty, lyin' on a plate,
Or sittin' here in a carton, neat and straight.
And lookin' inside a box of eggs might make you feel so great,
But do you ever wonder where they was, before they was inside that crate?

Which come first, the chicken or the aig?
Which come first, the chicken or the aig?
Now if you wanted to begin again,
Would you start with an omelette or a hen?
Which come first, the chicken or the aig?

The chicken or the aig?"


- Sesame Street