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Post by CentreHice on Oct 4, 2010 19:56:32 GMT -5
Watching "Antiques Roadshow". No, not a Rolling Stones concert. ( credit: Stewart Francis, Canadian stand-up....one of the best one-liner comics in the business.) A man in his 40s brought in a sheathed sword from what is now Sri Lanka (Ceylon)....18th century. Valued from $6,000 to $8,000. The hilt was fashioned from rhinoceros horn. Inlaid with silver, high-carat pure gold, and two rubies. When the appraiser was finished, the owner said, "The most amazing thing to me is the rhinoceros horn. I THOUGHT IT WAS PLASTIC."18th century plastic?  The appraiser should've said, "Okay, you can't have this anymore." ===================================== Other examples......? |
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Post by clear observer on Oct 6, 2010 12:58:19 GMT -5
When taking phone-orders at our family pizzeria some 30 yrs ago, I recall an order that went something like this:
Caller after having taken his FOOD order: "soo, uh, what kinda pop do you have?"
Me: "yes sir, well, we have coke, diet-coke, ginger-ale, orange, & 7-up."
Caller: "well, ok...we'll take 3 cream-sodas."
Me: "pardon me sir, but I'm afraid we have no cream soda - we can offer you coke, diet-coke, ginger-ale, orange, & 7-up."
Caller: "oh right...right, right....ok, so I guess we'll take just ONE cream-soda and two cokes."
Me: "again, my apologies if you're not hearing me correctly, sir...as far as pop is concerned, we have NO cream-soda - we ONLY have coke, diet-coke, ginger-ale, orange, & 7-up."
Caller: "ok, so you don't have any cream soda?"
Me: "yes, that's correct, sir."
Caller: "well, alrighty then, uuuhhhh, do you have root-beer?"
True story.
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Post by CentreHice on Oct 6, 2010 16:47:15 GMT -5
;D Reminds me of the old joke, CO.
You could've said....
You: Sir, say the C as in Coke.
Him: C.
You: Say the G as in Ginger Ale.
Him: G.
You: Now say the F as in Cream Soda.
Him: Um....there's no F in Cream Soda.
You: NOW YOU GOT IT.....THERE'S NO EFFIN' CREAM SODA!!!
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Post by clear observer on Oct 9, 2010 12:26:20 GMT -5
;D Reminds me of the old joke, CO. You could've said.... You: Sir, say the C as in Coke. Him: C. You: Say the G as in Ginger Ale. Him: G. You: Now say the F as in Cream Soda. Him: Um....there's no F in Cream Soda. You: NOW YOU GOT IT.....THERE'S NO EFFIN' CREAM SODA!!! A classic! ;D |
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Post by Cranky on Oct 10, 2010 12:53:49 GMT -5
Watching "Antiques Roadshow". The Antique Road Show? Every morning when I get up.....  |
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Post by clear observer on Oct 10, 2010 15:55:59 GMT -5
Watching "Antiques Roadshow". The Antique Road Show? Every morning when I get up..... HA HAHAHA...this actually DID make me laugh out loud! Thanks! |
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Post by Deleted on Oct 10, 2010 17:03:21 GMT -5
Apparently a server relayed this "order" to me one time.
Customer: "Um, like, about your Shrimp Penne...is that a lasagna?"
Server: "No. It's penne."
Customer: "Oh. ... I'll need a few more minutes, then."
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Post by habernac on Oct 13, 2010 10:25:01 GMT -5
Our crew was working through Christmas one year. I was sent around asking people what they'd like for Christmas dinner.
Me: "You have the following choices: Turkey, Beef or Vegatarian."
Him: "I like chicken."
Me: repeat the choices
Him: "Chicken is good."
Me: "Well, turkey is similar to chicken."
Him: "Ok, I'll have that!"
...
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Post by BadCompany on Oct 13, 2010 11:28:42 GMT -5
Was laying some pipe a few years back (boo-yeah!) into a lake in a rather remote part of Quebec. A water intake for a native reservation. Lake was about 20 feet deep, visibility was nil, muddy, uneven, just a mess. Chief engineer, being too important or something, decided he didn’t want to spend his week in a makeshift work cabin so he stayed in the big city and called in every evening, to see how things were going. Which they were not. He would suggest things, and then call back the next day, to see if there was any further progress. Which there was not. So after a week of this he decides us incompetent boobs didn’t know what we were doing and that he would grace us with his regal presence. Smack some work effort into us or something. He shows up at the site and demands to be taken to where the pipe is. Standing on the shore we point to the barge in the middle of the lake and ask if he wants to take the skiff out to it.
“Huh?” he says.
“Do you want to go to the barge?” we ask again, “To see where the pipe is being laid?”
“You mean,” the chief engineer for this water-intake-laying project says incredulously, “It’s in water??”
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Post by clear observer on Oct 13, 2010 12:50:57 GMT -5
Was laying some pipe a few years back (boo-yeah!) into a lake in a rather remote part of Quebec. A water intake for a native reservation. Lake was about 20 feet deep, visibility was nil, muddy, uneven, just a mess. Chief engineer, being too important or something, decided he didn’t want to spend his week in a makeshift work cabin so he stayed in the big city and called in every evening, to see how things were going. Which they were not. He would suggest things, and then call back the next day, to see if there was any further progress. Which there was not. So after a week of this he decides us incompetent boobs didn’t know what we were doing and that he would grace us with his regal presence. Smack some work effort into us or something. He shows up at the site and demands to be taken to where the pipe is. Standing on the shore we point to the barge in the middle of the lake and ask if he wants to take the skiff out to it. “Huh?” he says. “Do you want to go to the barge?” we ask again, “To see where the pipe is being laid?” “You mean,” the chief engineer for this water-intake-laying project says incredulously, “It’s in water??” Wow. |
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