To kill a wabbit.....

[Cranky]

I have a problem with illegal immigrant that has taken residence in my back yard. It serves no purpose other then to eat my grass and poop on my deck.

So the other day, I planned a Spartan end to that wabbit. I figure that it may put up some resistance, possibly calling on reinforcements (they are wabbits after all) so I dusted off my body armour, sharpened my sword and planned my attack. When my wife saw me standing at our castle's screen door, she thought that it was another one of my adventure into kinkiness. She was mistaken (later dear). I walked out, looked at the wabbit straight into those beedy little eyes and yelled, "THIS IS SPAAARTAAAA". As I raised my sword to deliver a merciful warriors death, she raced out and threw her body over the wabbit. I was perplexed, she was disheveled, the wabbit was pooping.

Now I have a freaken wabbit that eats and sh!ts as it pleases and a wife who thinks that's cute. Perhaps I missed the mystical hormonal signs of a Spartan wife turning 50 and PETA advocate at the same time. I have means to splatter but I don't want to face the night of the long faces. Nor do I want to employ WMD of Chemical Ali and have that wabbit die in the loving arms of some tard and possibly be slapped by the tit of the nanny state. Nor do I want to pay $99 for ACME wabbit trap, kiss and removal services.

So how the %$% do I get rid of the wabbit?

[Habs_fan_in_LA]

Nov 11, 2010 13:16:01 GMT -5 Cranky said:

I have a problem with illegal immigrant that has taken residence in my back yard. It serves no purpose other then to eat my grass and poop on my deck.

So the other day, I planned a Spartan end to that wabbit. I figure that it may put up some resistance, possibly calling on reinforcements (they are wabbits after all) so I dusted off my body armour, sharpened my sword and planned my attack. When my wife saw me standing at our castle's screen door, she thought that it was another one of my adventure into kinkiness. She was mistaken (later dear). I walked out, looked at the wabbit straight into those beedy little eyes and yelled, "THIS IS SPAAARTAAAA". As I raised my sword to deliver a merciful warriors death, she raced out and threw her body over the wabbit. I was perplexed, she was disheveled, the wabbit was pooping.

Now I have a freaken wabbit that eats and sh!ts as it pleases and a wife who thinks that's cute. Perhaps I missed the mystical hormonal signs of a Spartan wife turning 50 and PETA advocate at the same time. I have means to splatter but I don't want to face the night of the long faces. Nor do I want to employ WMD of Chemical Ali and have that wabbit die in the loving arms of some tard and possibly be slapped by the tit of the nanny state. Nor do I want to pay $99 for ACME wabbit trap, kiss and removal services.

So how the %$% do I get rid of the wabbit?

I'll consider myself lucky. There is no shortage of illegal immigrants in my backyard, but so far my wife hasn't taken a shine to any of them. If she does I may go ballistic and don my armour and sword; if not I'll just keep buying their grass.

[CentreHice]

Tips for a Spartan Restrained by Spouse

Your yard and deck may end up looking Beverly Hillbilly-ish. (More appropriate for HFLA perhaps, location-wise.)

I’ve heard human hair is a good idea. Maybe your wife would be willing to make the sacrifice in exchange.....

[Cranky]

I'm considering trading in my spouse for a Cadillac with fins....must have fins!

I think it was around April when she first saw it near her roses. It was about the size of a fist and I didn't think much about it. It's now the size of a basketball and not so cute anymore. She saw me set up a snare and started the noise about "what harm is it doing?" Well, not much now, but it is a rabbit and there will be far more of them with NO natural enemies to keep them in check. I don't really want to kill it because of my "you eat what you willingly kill" philosophy. On the other hand, this will became a pest by next spring.

Mehh...I will call the city and if they don't pick it up, I'm renting a trap and setting free near city hall. For now, I'm naming it obama.

[Skilly]

Set a rabbit snare without your wife knowing .... rabbits are dumb. They will always travel the same path, back and forth to their holes. A snare is just a little piece of wire, easily concealed, the dumb ol rabbits always get caught up in them.

Check the snare every day, and when you catch him, and you will ... then skin him with the sword, and cook him up and smile as you watch the wife unknowingly enjoying the rabbit stew.


I have grouse, rabbits, moose, frogs, ... you name it I've seen it in our backyard. (I'm positive their was a coyote around too).


EDIT: I really should have read the entire thread before posting ..

[clear observer]

" you want i should make a call?"