Hockey Jokes Thread

[Thomas]

Heres the place to post your favorite Leafs/Bruins jokes!

Ill start it off:

As a man was walking along the beach, he found a bottle. When he opened it, out popped a Genie.

The Genie said to him, "Master, I will grant you any three wishes and what is your first wish?"

The man said, "I would like to have enough food so I will never be hungry for the rest of my life."

The Genie said, "Master, your wish is granted and what is your second wish?"

He pulled out a map, opened it up, and said, "Genie, I would like all these middle eastern countries like Israel, Iraq, Iran, Egypt and Palestine to quit fighting and become friends."

The Genie thought for a minute, scratched his head, and said, "Why master, I can't do that! It is beyond all Genie power and what is your third wish?"

The man replied, "I want the Toronto Maple Leafs to win the Stanley Cup."

The Genie said, "Let me see that map again." ;D

[MPLABBE]

you know why there are no cups of coffee in Toronto?

because all the cups are in Montreal! ;D

[Thomas]

Little Johnny was in grade two class when the teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living. All the typical answers came up - fireman, policeman, salesman, etc...

Johnny was being uncharacteristically quiet and so the teacher asked him about his father.

"My father's an exotic dancer in a gay cabaret and takes off all his
clothes in front of other men. Sometimes, if the offer's really good, he'll
go out to the alley and do you know what with them" (Had to fix this part up a bit)

The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the other children to work on some colouring, and took little Johnny aside to ask him, "Is that really true about your father?"

"No," said Johnny, "he plays for the Toronto Maple Leafs but I was too embarrassed to say so".