Story and a Joke for Hab's Folk.
Feb 1, 2002 20:32:56 GMT -5
Post by Cranky on Feb 1, 2002 20:32:56 GMT -5
I went to the psychiatrist for the first time today and he told me that I had serious psychological problems and disorders. Apparently I had more disorders then a Mexican All You Can Eat Bean Bar. The list was long and tragic, I can only list a few, very few diagnosis below.
Depression –- Caused by the Hab’s not dominating the NHL
Panic Disorder--Caused by last minute game decision by Therrien.
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder --- Spending hours on the net with other OCD and talking about hockey.
Traumatic Stress—see Panic Disorder
To many phobias to list, including “Gino on the Ice” phobia, and far to many others of similar type.
Impulse Control Disorders—Extensive treatment and physical restraints needed to control this insane desire to bash remote controls.
Adjustment Disorder—From dominating NHL to bottom dwellers to also rans.
Family Problems—Sorry honey, not tonight, the Hab’s lost.
This and many more disorders were heaped upon me. But I told him, I was not alone, they were thousand like me. We are Hab's Fans, I said.
What can I say about it, what can we do about it?
HA, HA says I, initializing my thoughts, what if we started a thread of jokes, good jokes, nasty jokes, but jokes they should be. And stories, funny stories, and fables, something that will make us roll of the tables.
We have a worry? Get a joke in a hurry.
We have a complaint, tell me a dirty joke in restraint.
Besmirch our pride and glory, quick, get a story.
Sooo, with that long winded huff and no substance to speak
off, I will start the trend, which I hope we find no end. 8)
----------------------------------------------------
First one is a story, of the Leafs with no Glory!
First one is stolen, soooo, has the sky fallen?
---
Dhabguy
LEAFS WIN LEAFS WIN!!!
Two guys from Toronto die and wake up in hell. The next day the devil stops in to check on them and sees them dressed in parkas, mittens and toques, warming themselves by the fire.
The devil asks them, "What are you doing? Isn't it hot enough for you?"
The two guys reply, "Well you know, we're from Canada, the land of snow and ice and cold. We're just happy for a chance to warm up a little bit, eh."
The devil decides these two aren't miserable enough and turns up the heat. The next morning he stops in again and there they are, still dressed in parkas, toques and mittens.
The devil asks them again, "It's awfully hot down here... can't you guys feel it?"
Again the two guys reply,"Well, like we told you yesterday, we're from Canada, the land of snow and ice and cold. We're just happy for a chance to warm up a little, eh."
This gets the devil a little steamed and he decides to fix these two guys. He cranks the heat as high as it will go. People are wailing and screaming everywhere. He stops by the room with the two guys from Canada and finds them in light jackets and bucket hats, grilling sausage and drinking beer.
The devil is astonished. "Everyone down here is in abject misery, and you two seem to be enjoying yourselves."
The two Canadians reply, "Well you know, we don't get much warm weather up there in Toronto so we've just got to have a cook-out when the weather's this nice."
The devil is so furious, he can hardly see straight. Finally, he comes up with the answer. The two guys love the heat because they've been cold all their lives. The devil decides to turn all the heat off in hell.
The next morning, the temperature is below zero, icicles are hanging everywhere, people are shivering so bad they can't do anything but wail, moan and gnash their teeth.
The devil smiles and heads for the room with the two Canadians. He gets there and finds them back in their parkas, toques and mittens. Now they are jumping up and down, cheering, yelling and screaming like mad men!
The devil is dumbfounded! "I don't understand... when I turn up the heat you're happy. Now it's freezing cold and you're STILL happy. What is wrong with you two?"
The Torontonians look at the devil in surprise."Well, don't you know? If hell freezes over, it must mean the Leafs have won the Stanley Cup!"
Depression –- Caused by the Hab’s not dominating the NHL
Panic Disorder--Caused by last minute game decision by Therrien.
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder --- Spending hours on the net with other OCD and talking about hockey.
Traumatic Stress—see Panic Disorder
To many phobias to list, including “Gino on the Ice” phobia, and far to many others of similar type.
Impulse Control Disorders—Extensive treatment and physical restraints needed to control this insane desire to bash remote controls.
Adjustment Disorder—From dominating NHL to bottom dwellers to also rans.
Family Problems—Sorry honey, not tonight, the Hab’s lost.
This and many more disorders were heaped upon me. But I told him, I was not alone, they were thousand like me. We are Hab's Fans, I said.
What can I say about it, what can we do about it?
HA, HA says I, initializing my thoughts, what if we started a thread of jokes, good jokes, nasty jokes, but jokes they should be. And stories, funny stories, and fables, something that will make us roll of the tables.
We have a worry? Get a joke in a hurry.
We have a complaint, tell me a dirty joke in restraint.
Besmirch our pride and glory, quick, get a story.
Sooo, with that long winded huff and no substance to speak
off, I will start the trend, which I hope we find no end. 8)
----------------------------------------------------
First one is a story, of the Leafs with no Glory!
First one is stolen, soooo, has the sky fallen?
---
Dhabguy
LEAFS WIN LEAFS WIN!!!
Two guys from Toronto die and wake up in hell. The next day the devil stops in to check on them and sees them dressed in parkas, mittens and toques, warming themselves by the fire.
The devil asks them, "What are you doing? Isn't it hot enough for you?"
The two guys reply, "Well you know, we're from Canada, the land of snow and ice and cold. We're just happy for a chance to warm up a little bit, eh."
The devil decides these two aren't miserable enough and turns up the heat. The next morning he stops in again and there they are, still dressed in parkas, toques and mittens.
The devil asks them again, "It's awfully hot down here... can't you guys feel it?"
Again the two guys reply,"Well, like we told you yesterday, we're from Canada, the land of snow and ice and cold. We're just happy for a chance to warm up a little, eh."
This gets the devil a little steamed and he decides to fix these two guys. He cranks the heat as high as it will go. People are wailing and screaming everywhere. He stops by the room with the two guys from Canada and finds them in light jackets and bucket hats, grilling sausage and drinking beer.
The devil is astonished. "Everyone down here is in abject misery, and you two seem to be enjoying yourselves."
The two Canadians reply, "Well you know, we don't get much warm weather up there in Toronto so we've just got to have a cook-out when the weather's this nice."
The devil is so furious, he can hardly see straight. Finally, he comes up with the answer. The two guys love the heat because they've been cold all their lives. The devil decides to turn all the heat off in hell.
The next morning, the temperature is below zero, icicles are hanging everywhere, people are shivering so bad they can't do anything but wail, moan and gnash their teeth.
The devil smiles and heads for the room with the two Canadians. He gets there and finds them back in their parkas, toques and mittens. Now they are jumping up and down, cheering, yelling and screaming like mad men!
The devil is dumbfounded! "I don't understand... when I turn up the heat you're happy. Now it's freezing cold and you're STILL happy. What is wrong with you two?"
The Torontonians look at the devil in surprise."Well, don't you know? If hell freezes over, it must mean the Leafs have won the Stanley Cup!"
