The HabsRus Habsicles (what a powerhouse)
Forwards:
The Smash Line
Big D----------6’ 1” 250bs RW
Montreal------6'1 220lbs Center
Ryan----------6'1", 285 lbs LW
The Deep Cycle Line
JacquesFla----6'2" 190lbs RW
Spiro-----------5' 10" 220lbs C
Patty Roi------5'11", 190lbs LW
The Speed Line
Zenseeker-----6ft2 190lbs. RW
Doc------------5'10'' 200lbs Center
HFTO----------5’ 8.5” 187lbs Wing
The Checking Line
AH--------------5'11" 180 pound RW
H and C--------6'2" 193 lbs C
Chopper-------5'9" 190lbs LW
The Badger Line
Viper-----------5'7 180 Forward
Habernac------5’7” 190lbs. C.
TheHabsFan----5'8'' , 180 lbs. F
The Kid line
GARBO8------- 6'0 200lbs Wing
Matt-------------6'0" 180lbs C
Marc------------5'7' 180 LW
The Speedsters
Psycorp--------5' 6.5” 150lbs Wing
Legaspesien---5’7” ??-??lbs Wing
Defense:
The Hurt Brothers
Vinna----------6' 2” 235lbs LD
HA—----------5’ 10” 255lbs RD
The Disgruntled Duo
Dis-------------5' 10'' 215 lbs Def
PTH------------6'1, 210 lbs Def
The Rush Line
Rhieesan------6'0" 212lbs LD
Nai-------------6'2" 180lbs LD
The Zen Beer Line
BC—-----------6’ 1” 200lbs LD
MyHAbit-------6’ 270lbs D
Goalies:
Maritimer---goalie
JFM----5'9 160 lbs,
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Come on guys, who is going to play against us? We are bigger then the Big Bad Bruins AND the Broad Street Bullies combined. We have a half dozen guys who will drop at the sight of Tucker, Barnaby or Corson. Can you imagine what OUR bench would look like? There will be mini brawls on the bench on who gets first dibs on Tucker. Sheesh! Speaking about benches, forget wood, they need to put in sky scraper steel girder for us to sit on. I pity the first players who checks our skilled forwards, bah, even looks at them sideways. We gonna have to toss fingers on who goes out to give Barnaby a "knuckles" make up job. A clothesline from Mclaren? Hope he has life insurance and he straightened out his last will and testament.
How bad is this team? Hells Angels cross the street and hide behind little old ladies and Satan wants them for his body guards.
But alas, there are problems. The forwards are so dominant that the defenseman are seen playing dice in the corner. Poor goalies have to bring a lap tops and play Solitaire while waiting for that occasional shot to dribble their way. The coach doesn’t “send out” the lines, he just has them pull a number from a red dispenser.
How good? They first period they build up a 5 goal lead, the second period is the “pain period” where the bad boys take care of business and the third is “keep away“. And that’s when they are “nice”. If the Leafs or Booins come in then it’s one loooong game of pain ‘nd suffering.
Money? We don’t play for no stinking money, we play for glory, gore and beer. We don’t “win” the cup, that’s to easy. Our goal is to go through a season and not lose a game. Scores must be counted be converted touchdowns. Olympic Gold Medals? Guaranteed! Unless of course they make beer a banned substance.
They say that this cough medications has some side effects……….